Why your overflowing life feels underwhelming

I was looking at my closet the other morning, staring at stacks of neatly folded clothes, and thinking the most ridiculous thought: “I have absolutely nothing to wear.”

Sound familiar?

Here I was, surrounded by more clothing options than entire generations before me could have dreamed of, and yet I felt completely stuck. It was one of those moments that made me step back and think: What is wrong with this picture?

That’s when it hit me. Even when we’re swimming in abundance, we can still feel like we’re drowning in scarcity.

The Closet That’s Never Full Enough

Let’s start with something we can all relate to – our stuff. We live in an era of unprecedented material abundance. Our homes are packed with gadgets, clothes, books, kitchen appliances we’ve used exactly one time, and decorative items we bought because they were “perfect” at the time.

Yet how often do we walk through our overflowing spaces feeling like something’s missing?

I have a friend who owns three different coffee makers but is still on the lookout for the “right” one. A coworker has subscriptions to a dozen learning platforms but complains he can’t learn new skills because none of them have ‘exactly’ what he needs. We’ve all been there, right? Surrounded by options, yet somehow convinced we don’t have what we need.

The Netflix Effect

Remember when having three TV channels felt like plenty? Now we have thousands of shows and movies at our fingertips, and what do we do? We spend 20 minutes scrolling through options, overwhelmed by choice, before giving up and rewatching The Office for the hundredth time.

This is abundance creating its own kind of scarcity – the scarcity of satisfaction. When we have endless options, we become paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice. We worry we’re missing out on something better just one scroll away.

Your Brain on Scarcity Mode

Here’s the thing our brains don’t want us to know: they’re basically ancient software running on modern hardware. For thousands of years, our ancestors had to worry about genuine scarcity – where their next meal would come from, whether they’d survive the winter, if they’d find shelter.

So our brains developed a survival mechanism that’s constantly scanning for what we don’t have, what we might lose, what could go wrong. It’s like having a security guard in your head who’s really, really good at his job – maybe too good.

Even when your bank account is healthy, your fridge is full, and your calendar is packed with opportunities, that little security guard is still on duty, whispering about all the ways things could be better, safer, more secure.

The Instagram Illusion

Then there’s social media – the ultimate scarcity creator. We scroll through carefully curated highlight reels of other people’s lives and suddenly our own abundant reality feels lacking.

Your friend posts about their amazing vacation, and suddenly your perfectly lovely staycation feels boring. Someone shares their promotion, and your stable job feels stagnant. A colleague posts their new car, and yours feels outdated.

We’re literally surrounded by proof of our abundance. We have devices that connect us to the entire world, access to information our grandparents couldn’t have imagined, opportunities to learn and grow and connect – but all we see is what we don’t have compared to someone else.

The Time Trap

But here’s where it gets really interesting. Even billionaires experience scarcity. You know why? Because no amount of money can buy more hours in a day.

Time is the great equalizer. Whether you’re struggling to pay rent or deciding between vacation homes, you still only get 24 hours. And in our culture of busy-ness, we’ve somehow convinced ourselves that being overwhelmed is a badge of honor.

We pack our calendars full of activities, commitments, and opportunities – creating abundance in our schedules – then complain we don’t have enough time. We have more ways to connect with people than ever before, yet loneliness rates are skyrocketing.

The Comparison Game

I think part of the problem is that we’ve lost our reference points. When your great-grandmother was grateful for indoor plumbing, it was because she remembered life without it. When your grandfather felt wealthy with his first car, it was because he remembered walking everywhere.

But we’ve grown up in abundance. Our baseline is already pretty high. So instead of comparing our lives to genuine scarcity, we compare them to idealized versions of abundance we see around us.

It’s like being upset that your house isn’t as big as the one on the home improvement show, forgetting that most humans throughout history would have considered your current living situation palatial.

So What Do We Do About It?

I’m not going to tell you to just “be grateful”, though gratitude does help. Instead, I think we need to get better at recognizing abundance scarcity for what it is: a trick our brains play on us.

Start small. Next time you’re standing in front of your closet thinking you have nothing to wear, take a moment to really look. Count the options. Remember that you have more clothing choices available to you right now than royalty had a few centuries ago.

When you’re scrolling endlessly through Netflix, remind yourself that you have access to more entertainment than anyone in human history. Maybe the problem isn’t that there’s nothing good to watch – maybe the problem is that there’s too much good stuff to choose from.

And when you catch yourself feeling like your life is lacking while scrolling through social media, remember that you’re comparing your behind-the-scenes reality to everyone else’s highlight reel.

The Real Abundance

Here’s what I’ve started to realize: true abundance isn’t about having more stuff, more options, or more experiences. It’s about recognizing and appreciating what we already have access to.

It’s about understanding that the feeling of scarcity often has nothing to do with actual scarcity. It’s about training our ancient brains to recognize that in this moment, right now, we probably have enough.

Not perfect, not everything we want, but enough.

And maybe, just maybe, that’s actually abundant living.

The next time you’re standing in your full closet feeling like you have nothing to wear, try this: pick something, anything, and remember that you have the incredible luxury of choice. That’s not scarcity – that’s abundance so complete we’ve forgotten to notice it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go appreciate my overflowing coffee mug and the fact that I have seventeen different ways to make coffee in my kitchen. Because when you really think about it, that’s pretty amazing.